Disappointment in Louisville

IM is hard. Hard on the body of course, but often it's more hard on the mind. I race the inaugural IM Louisville on Sunday and posted my 3rd slowest IM time ever. Certainly not the result I was after. I would be lying if I said I wasn't disappointed. Not just in how the race went for me, but in a general sense as well. I had some great weeks of training leading up this race, and I worked on the mental side as well. In my heart and head I believed I was capable of a top 5 performance.
The race actually started well for me as I posted a new IM swim P.R. coming out in 52 and change, and that's for a non-wetsuit swim! Granted we did have a nice current pushing us in for just over half the route. Looking at the clock when I exited I was excited for the rest of the day. I had drafted for almost every stroke and felt fresh heading onto the bike. At the time I didn't know it, but I was 9th or 10th.
The bike starts with a flat section of 10-12 miles. This section was a bit odd for me as I was all alone. I passed Heather Golnick early on, and set out to catch the front guys. My PowerTap wasn't working at all in the days before the race, and race day was no different. I was OK with going by feel. I have raced enough to know about my exertion rate, heart rate, etc. My HR was steady at 145, right where it normally is. There were very few spectators on this section, so it was hard to just keep pedaling and not act like it was a training ride. We hit the short out and back where I finally saw the other guys. TJ Tollakson was leading, followed by Chris McDonald, and then a group of guys I didn't recognize. But I was able to see that I was well up in the standings which bouyed my spirits. I really felt like I was in this one, and that I was finally going to have the day I was capable of. On the way out I could see I had some good time on other guys in the field. I decided that I would take a bit of a rest, then hit the first section of the loop pretty hard. The course had us doing 2 loops, then returning on the road we came out on. I had driven the course on Friday and knew what to expect. However, each climb seemed a bit longer and steeper than I remembered. Where I wanted to push, I couldn't. I kept seated and tried to spin up the rollers to save some power in the legs. Well, that wasn't happening. It was just like in Roth, the power was gone and my HR was plummeting. We hit a flatter section that was into some wind. I was hoping that I could take another rest and regather my strength, but the wind took out that option. I just kept going as hard as I could. At this point the mind starts to go funny. The thoughts about why I'm out here, what's the point, and general bad vibes just kept coming at me. I did what I could to keep positive. I was able to turn it around a bit in Roth I thought. IM is too long to give in I said. Then Patrick Evoe went hammering by me. On the out and back section I had close to 3 minutes on him, now he was gone in the distance ahead. I was expecting a whole gang to go by, but I was just back on my own again. Starting the 2nd loop we encountered the AGer's and the course was really crowded. There were some dangerous points as well. On one section Heather G. passed me, looked at me, and asked if I was OK. That wasn't too uplifting. I watched as she crossed the yellow line to get around a car that was in the middle of the road behind some slower cyclists. I ended up having to do the same. Billy went by me and as he did so he smacked my backside. I knew instantly it was him and I didn't even flinch. Mercifully, the last 30 miles or so were relatively flat and we had a bit of a tailwind. I was hoping to make up some time, and let the legs recover. Once again I was on my own, with no crowd support. Looking at my watch I knew I was headed in for one of my worst bike times ever. I was hoping to get off in 4:45 or 4:50. My time was 5:21.
In the change tent I mentally re-focused and figured my total time may be shot, but I can still shoot for a good run. I took my time, got everything set and went for it. My first miles felt good and I was right at 6:30 pace for the first 4 miles. The run course was really a big out and back that we did twice. The course had a lot of slight 1-2 % grades, but nothing steep. I was feeling strong and just wanted to keep my rhythm. But soon I was slowing, and by mile 7 I was averaging a 7 minute pace. I was drinking Coke and water and every aid station. I would walk a few, slam 2-3 Cokes, then run for the next 3-4 miles. The run was the most up and down run of my life. Just when I thought I was done, I would feel OK and pick up the pace. Then there would be a slight rise and I was hurting again. I hit the half way point in 1:37, on pace for my standard 3:15 marathon. At the turnaround I saw my parents so I stopped and kissed my mom and hugged my dad. Then 200 yards up I saw Court and gave her a kiss as well. I considered pulling the pin and stepping off right there, but I felt a little re-energized and I pushed on for the 2nd loop. That loop was brutal for me. I felt like I was going fast, but looking at my watch I could see I was only doing an 8 minute mile. Which in the grand scheme of thing is fast I know, but it's not the sub 7 pace I was hoping for.
I basically gutted out the last miles and finished my 9th IM in my 3rd slowest time, 9:54:55, well off the 8:50 I was hoping for.
When I crossed the line I knew I would just seize up if I stopped, so I just kept walking. Court and a volunteer walked me the 2 1/2 blocks to medical where I took in an IV and some watered down Gatorade. I had peed once during the race, at the end of the bike, so I knew I was pretty dehydrated. I got really cold and needed a blanket to stay warm. I guess my eyes were pretty bloodshot as well. Finally I got up, found my parents and we went for some food. I downed some fajitas, chocolate milk and a few bites of a brownie with ice cream. I was pretty bummed with how the day went, but sitting down with my parents and wife, I felt a bit better. Having a support system like that definitely can help take the sting away from a letdown.
The next day Court and I walked back to the finish area and had a buffet breakfast at the Hyatt. There must have been 20 other athletes there and I think we ate everything they had. We hooked up with Billy, who finished strong in 9:18, and cruised to the awards banquet. The winner, Chris McDonald, lives in Boulder and Court and I met him during our Roth trip. After Roth I did a few rides with Chris and Billy and the rest of the crew. We all wanted to hear his speech so we could give him grief about it later. He actually gave a great speech that went beyond the usually thanking of sponsors, race organizers, etc. After that I went to the Hawaii roll down hoping beyond hope to snag a spot. It was the most nervous I have been in a long time. There were 3 slots available, and I think the guys in 6,7 & 8th all took them. So no Kona this year. It hurts for sure, especially since some guys that I would love to hang out with will be there, like Billy. Nex year I guess. After that disappointment we bumped into Chris and went out for a beer with him, his brother and Billy. It was just the 5 of us hanging out in Louisville on a Monday afternoon sipping on some beers. Not too bad I guess.
Court and I rushed back to our place, threw our stuff in the bags, called a cab and went to the airport. Two flights later we were back in Denver and home. Another IM down, another learning experience.